Honesty requires courage. I am not making a generic statement as this sentiment was proclaimed a million times earlier. I wish to see this aspect of life in the perspective of my own realism.
After much observation, deliberation and empathy I pragmatically came to a conclusion that virtues extolled in every scripture and hypothesis does not exist. Morals and virtues are relative to what we feel comfortable with respect to our immediate surroundings and social vicinity.
If we sense that an anomaly is overlooked by majority of people we make that attitude ours as well and establish that particular protracted standard as an accepted standard. White lies and silent sins are as common as one buttoning his dress unaware of what lies where.
I even shamelessly proclaim that even within family and friends we tend to deviate from what otherwise haunts us at dark nights questioning our consensus. Now it seems I am using a big word such as “Consensus” to express such a small bit of ignorable fact that’s twisted to suit our objectives. But somewhere deep inside when we introspect ourselves we tend to feel disgusted about what we did… even if we feel it for a moment.
My experience to navigate the rapids of life with no battered ego was not always possible. It’s not just about my ego being battered… but sometimes my comprehended sense of righteousness mauled by complacent people around who were fattened with success and stability.
The present age everything is considered disposable. People buy cloths, cells, computers, upholstery and change interiors and looks as per their whim if they feel they are saturated with the radiated illusion. Life in fast lane is often looked up on as grab every moment that’s something new and something not reachable and discord it once it merges in our reality.
And eventually this attitude becomes a way of life and condonable vice as everyone else is doing the same. Besides… god is always there to forgive us of our sins if we bribe him with worship, offerings and exhibitionism of devotion. Even then we plunge back to our own disgusting gutter called life, ambition, success and power.
Dishonesty creeps in to our lives almost on the same day we open our eyes to his world and try to understand things in blocks. A little baby who looks with big eyes towards an elder and asks some embarrassing question is sweetly rewarded with sugar coated lie. And the baby acquires a wisdom with pride and surety that only gets contradicted when he or she grow up and understand the truth beneath that truth look alike lie. By then they just laugh it off and treat it as developmental process.
Don’t you think this kind of subconscious submission of accepting what’s not right and mild dishonesty is the foundation for the next ascension??? We move a little bit up… a lie that’s little more risky or dangerous and then when we see it’s that that harmful, we recalibrate our moral standards and award it a dark zone called “Margin of error”. Then we may proceed boldly and get hit by our own courage to be honest in a dishonest way.
I am not immune to what I explained above. Instead I will proudly claim that I developed the guts to express my own disgust towards my own acceptable immoral proclivities.
Yet… I dreamt of one person with whom I could be totally honest. It is like an endeavor to discover god by a reluctant atheist. Why not find a single person in our life who is capable of absorbing the cruel, intolerable, indigestible truths of my life on the foundation of courage and perceived honesty???
I did not expect the opposite person to be as honest as me even in those closely guarded area. I just wanted to risk honesty and truth before that select someone and stand defiant of the repercussions that follow like land slide. It is possible that I shall be buried under the rubble of hatred and perhaps never be exhumed alive in form of forgiveness. But it’s also possible that my own closely guarded secret to be honest… to someone special… could also be their own dream.
Lest they be hungry to express their own truths and be absolute honest to someone unknown or unexpected be given credibility in the form of me sacrificing my own image before the altar of their judgment.
I am not sure if such resilience exists in male. But surely I found that quality in females who are courageous to the core deep down. They burst in to flames when their faith towards they love is molested and denied. They explode in hatred and tears when they felt cheated with a lie that looked so truthful. But they also look through their tiding tears that wash the pain of their hearts and cleanse my impure soul. They get soiled while they help me get my heart, head and consensus clear.
And they have the ability to clean their own souls as time pass by.
I am proud to claim that I have few such women in my life.
After much observation, deliberation and empathy I pragmatically came to a conclusion that virtues extolled in every scripture and hypothesis does not exist. Morals and virtues are relative to what we feel comfortable with respect to our immediate surroundings and social vicinity.
If we sense that an anomaly is overlooked by majority of people we make that attitude ours as well and establish that particular protracted standard as an accepted standard. White lies and silent sins are as common as one buttoning his dress unaware of what lies where.
I even shamelessly proclaim that even within family and friends we tend to deviate from what otherwise haunts us at dark nights questioning our consensus. Now it seems I am using a big word such as “Consensus” to express such a small bit of ignorable fact that’s twisted to suit our objectives. But somewhere deep inside when we introspect ourselves we tend to feel disgusted about what we did… even if we feel it for a moment.
My experience to navigate the rapids of life with no battered ego was not always possible. It’s not just about my ego being battered… but sometimes my comprehended sense of righteousness mauled by complacent people around who were fattened with success and stability.
The present age everything is considered disposable. People buy cloths, cells, computers, upholstery and change interiors and looks as per their whim if they feel they are saturated with the radiated illusion. Life in fast lane is often looked up on as grab every moment that’s something new and something not reachable and discord it once it merges in our reality.
And eventually this attitude becomes a way of life and condonable vice as everyone else is doing the same. Besides… god is always there to forgive us of our sins if we bribe him with worship, offerings and exhibitionism of devotion. Even then we plunge back to our own disgusting gutter called life, ambition, success and power.
Dishonesty creeps in to our lives almost on the same day we open our eyes to his world and try to understand things in blocks. A little baby who looks with big eyes towards an elder and asks some embarrassing question is sweetly rewarded with sugar coated lie. And the baby acquires a wisdom with pride and surety that only gets contradicted when he or she grow up and understand the truth beneath that truth look alike lie. By then they just laugh it off and treat it as developmental process.
Don’t you think this kind of subconscious submission of accepting what’s not right and mild dishonesty is the foundation for the next ascension??? We move a little bit up… a lie that’s little more risky or dangerous and then when we see it’s that that harmful, we recalibrate our moral standards and award it a dark zone called “Margin of error”. Then we may proceed boldly and get hit by our own courage to be honest in a dishonest way.
I am not immune to what I explained above. Instead I will proudly claim that I developed the guts to express my own disgust towards my own acceptable immoral proclivities.
Yet… I dreamt of one person with whom I could be totally honest. It is like an endeavor to discover god by a reluctant atheist. Why not find a single person in our life who is capable of absorbing the cruel, intolerable, indigestible truths of my life on the foundation of courage and perceived honesty???
I did not expect the opposite person to be as honest as me even in those closely guarded area. I just wanted to risk honesty and truth before that select someone and stand defiant of the repercussions that follow like land slide. It is possible that I shall be buried under the rubble of hatred and perhaps never be exhumed alive in form of forgiveness. But it’s also possible that my own closely guarded secret to be honest… to someone special… could also be their own dream.
Lest they be hungry to express their own truths and be absolute honest to someone unknown or unexpected be given credibility in the form of me sacrificing my own image before the altar of their judgment.
I am not sure if such resilience exists in male. But surely I found that quality in females who are courageous to the core deep down. They burst in to flames when their faith towards they love is molested and denied. They explode in hatred and tears when they felt cheated with a lie that looked so truthful. But they also look through their tiding tears that wash the pain of their hearts and cleanse my impure soul. They get soiled while they help me get my heart, head and consensus clear.
And they have the ability to clean their own souls as time pass by.
I am proud to claim that I have few such women in my life.
One of them is the girl I loved dearly and I truly felt purified after I confessed so many disgusting things about me. I felt this ease in my heart because my weakened soul was lighted with spirit of love in return. With whispers sweet sometimes and mute some other time... the foundation to honesty at the remote corner of my heart was built brick by brick. She chose not to be my mate in this marathon race called life. But she knows me inside out and I am not only naked but transparent before her.
Another girl… who now is married and of different nationality gave me such courage though I never met her. Another girl who actually suffered more atrocities from me and still accepted me as someone as her own personnel rag doll despite my devilish demeanor. Apart from these few other female friends who chose to accept my disorientation that’s well canceled with silent appreciation
Courage is offered by these kinds of people. Now to accept their support and be honest is… my responsibility. My efforts are not to become so pure in my life that I shall again be tainted. But I shall keep a small area in my heart so pure and well guarded by discretion and often by skepticism.
Err… Does that make me sound honest???
Hahahahahaha… It still looks confusing and contradicting… right???
Another girl… who now is married and of different nationality gave me such courage though I never met her. Another girl who actually suffered more atrocities from me and still accepted me as someone as her own personnel rag doll despite my devilish demeanor. Apart from these few other female friends who chose to accept my disorientation that’s well canceled with silent appreciation
Courage is offered by these kinds of people. Now to accept their support and be honest is… my responsibility. My efforts are not to become so pure in my life that I shall again be tainted. But I shall keep a small area in my heart so pure and well guarded by discretion and often by skepticism.
Err… Does that make me sound honest???
Hahahahahaha… It still looks confusing and contradicting… right???
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