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Thursday, April 24, 2008

Companionship


Companionship… is it necessary???

A topic raised by a friend who feels that she could live life alone and companionship is not essential. She thinks she could make amends with time related needs as age creeps in an irreversibly merciless way.

I was a bit baffled when I heard this question assuming that she is pointing out towards a companionship offered by life partner or companionship offered by friends, acquaintances, colleagues and relatives. My gut feeling says that she was talking about the former.

As such there is nothing left to explain the latter scenario. Friends, acquaintances, colleagues and relatives come and go. They leave their fondest memories in our hearts and go away else where… where they too would culminate their random journey by making someone a companion or life partner.

Hence I chose to talk about this side of the thought. I am not sure if I could be given the deserved honour to talk about it as I am not blessed with a companion per say. But I confirmed with my conscience that precipitated after thoughts, experiences, observations and intuition percolated in to this.

I witnessed the evil side and comfort level in equal proportions in a relation. It’s so adorable to watch two persons gauze deep in to each others eyes as if rest of the world cease to exist. It’s equally horrific to observe each of them wish why the other exist in this world.

But when we look in to core… a profound introspection within… we can deny not the conflicts and amends we make in every succeeding second. I live life alone. Pathetically alone… the moment I wake up and the second I drift in to sleep I need to make decisions. It some times makes life feel so miserable. Very strangely if we were to make decisions for others and if others make decisions for us we feel comfortable. It is an amazing reality.

I feel this is where companionship comes in life. It’s nothing to do with sexual congress or killing time on mutually interested topics or feeling some kind of superiority over the weaker points of the opposite person.

It’s like the ground beneath our feet. Without ground beneath our feel we can not imagine what orientation we are heading towards. It is an aplomb, a reference to every thing we attach and calibrate those thoughts over which we either are not confident or prefer not to think of. The way when we were kids we love our dolls in a fanatic way and behave as if they are worthless when we feel arrogant… and go hug and snuggle with them in bed to feel safe… even when safety is nowhere within reach.
The need for companionship in my eyes is based on our desire to share everything with a singular entity that’s not us. And as an obvious reflection the opposite person feels the same way towards us while she tries to precariously balance her own poise. Even a shy smile passed on between me and my companion in silence is the reason for me to discover and rediscover pride and joy in life.

It is also about those things we chose to ignore first and find out later at a personnel level.

Once upon a time in a management seminar I asked the professor about the need of supervision over any activity. My point was when every one is educated in an organized system with proven methods and raised in an almost similar social structure, why must one snoop over the neck of another.

The answer he gave me is so obvious and yet so elusive. The division of twenty four hours in a day if divided in to three segments shall have an eight hour slot for sleep and eight hour slot for job and the remaining critical eight hours is the door towards haven and hell. We are subjected to a range of congenial to contradicting emotions and their effects either in a peripheral way or a permanently set way. The rest of our routine shall be guided by the subconscious influences of what ever we experienced in these critical eight hours.

Now if I think a little beyond job… this aspect seem to be the force those so many imbalanced things in our lives. Our perceptions and responses can not be effective in 360 degree direction in a space with respect to all those forces nudge us out of the chosen trajectory.

Besides I feel a man and woman is by default created inadequate to be self sufficient. They take pride in their best abilities that some times or most of the times mask their vulnerabilities. The arrogance of a man that needs annealing and resilience that could be provided only by a woman. And the tenderness of the woman needs a protective embryo that could be offered by a man’s strength. By using the word strength on man’s side I am not implicating lack of strength on women’s side.

I feel so proud and privileged when I am made to feel that I am resourceful and able by a few females ranging from children to elders. Their immeasurable confidence in me actually boosts my confidence to the point of irreversible gallantry and a surprising discovery within me about my own potential.

The companionship we have been talking about so far is… this kind of companionship I am talking about.

Sure there are social dimensions and biological dimensions that come either mandatory or perk like. Sure people may have been either brainwashed or hypnotized to the point of not recognizing the innards of marriage as an institution. Sure law laid its own front doors and back doors in allowing a relation to consummate and breaking the same in diverse in the name of mutual incompatibility….

Companionship is an emotional need. The new born infant does not just look towards a mother who is ready to feed. The sense of touch and nearness coupled with an unspeakable language that gets communicated by sights, smell, sounds, touch and taste is….what the baby longs for… a different dimension of companionship.

The interaction with siblings, friends, neighbours, colleagues and people in general is another dimension.

As we head towards life’s unilateral journey… we need a companion for our own self… and become a companion for the other half. It’s a harmonious blending of different colours in a single streak of rain bow where one could not really draw the line of distinction between each color.

I am for companionship… though I regret to say… I am socially and financially not qualified to have a companion….






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