Dasvidaniya

If complacency of life is suddenly encountered with death within few days… how would one says goodbye??? Not a question no one prefers to contemplate when they need not think of death in their own terms. Blessed these people are… for they get diverted with so many good things in life that happens to them.

The other category may be those who really encounter this possibility by helplessness or by choice. Things like a fetal disease makes one suddenly edge towards panic and struggle bitterly in pushing themselves back towards normalcy that offers them an illusion about eternity.

I am talking about a movie I happen to watch on Sunday night on a barrowed Lappy. The movie name is Dasvidaniya… a Hindi movie that faded as silently as it entered the movie halls to earn money. It did not earn much money though… it earned hearts a few.

The protagonist who is a 40+ year old bachelor who lives with his old mother who is deaf and interested in nothing but her own world. An estranged younger brother who lives separately because his choice over his love life is not accepted. Our hero prefers to back his old mother and come to know about his impending death through cancer that’s merciful to offer him a two month respite.

Now here comes what is the essence of movie… or perhaps of the essence of life. He makes a list of all his silly fantasies that he seriously wanted to try. And he executes them all. Rebelling against his dominating boss, buying a car, learning to play guitar, confessing his childhood girl friend that he loved her since he was a child (And she is married and blessed with a child already by the time he confesses), visiting another childhood buddy who is settled abroad, and setting the dispute between his mother and younger brother.

There comes a moment in his journey to fruition, where he wish to end it all and be saved by a prostitute who humiliates him earlier. He finds love for a few hours that true enough to make him feel… that he is truly loved. He however comes back home and dies in peace.

Not forgetting anyone who made a difference in his life and gifts each of them something that they cherish forever in their life. Saying “Dasvidaniya” … The best ever Goodbye…

I just could not control myself and ended up crying bitterly for almost forty-five minutes. The privacy, late night and silence pervading around contributed to the detonation of my suppressed pain within and allowed myself to unburden myself.

And a smile too appeared within those tears wondering the wisdom of losing hope over everything when we are not even near death. I am talking about those who become despondent in life and assume that termination is an irreversible liberation. Faith is something that’s easier to preach but harder to follow. But faith keeps one going.

Faith often makes me wonder if it could dissolve the resolve of opposite person who preferred to leave me. Faith often questions me if laughing at life and flowing by tide is the best option available at the moment. Faith makes me perplexed if it is wise to have faith over matters where faith is needed as far as another person in my heart is concerned.

Preserving a sweet memory in heart… does that becomes an obstruction to look towards future with someone else??? How could one possibly wipeout an honest emotion that’s germinated and nurtured for a long time and just restart everything again. How honest it is… even in terms of reality that we pair up with someone else in rendering totality to our life??? If love nowadays has become a disposable commodity that changes with times and mindset.

I wish to tell those people who goes by reality of life that… death is the only irreversible reality that could not be manipulated mismanaged or exploited. Every other exploitation might catapult you in to fame success and happiness that is tailor made and artificial. If one convinces their heart that “It’s over and let’s start a new life” may end up wondering if they receive and reciprocate honesty ever again in their life.

I need no such support. For I have my own strength in my heart. I have Mach in my heart…

By the way… My own fantasies before I die are…

1. To buy a geared bicycle and roam the world on bicycle.
2. To spend a complete 24 hours with Mach
3. To buy Mach a solitaire ring
4. To see Mach become an Interior Designer & Architect she wanted
5. To see Mach workout and lose her pounds (I love her still the way she looks)
6. To see Mach open her own chain of restaurants
7. To see Mach sweetly embraced by her mom, dad, sister and granny
8. To see Mach embraced by my own parents
9. To see Mach…

Opps… Lots of things cannot be fulfilled by me… even if I am in the close proximity of death…