Ever thought consciously of a desire that comes behind fear??? That’s not an adventure I claim so proudly but cherish in deepest folds of memories and reminisce in pleasure???
It’s a kind of quandary that one would experience when he is an infant. (It’s also quandary that one would experience when she is an infant). Knowing this world through five senses when nothing else is comprehensible to us… to watch and listen and smell and touch and taste. A fascinating spectacle to see a baby looks at something and… attracted to a sound and then…tries grabbing it… to smell not knowingly and then… pop it in mouth…
To flinch face if the taste is bad and to relish it repeatedly if liked. Explored in finest possible way to get the information embedded in brain for future use… Forgotten for immediate use but retrieved lightening fast when confronted again. Judged by repeated usage to use it again or not… Apply education and knowledge to reconsider if we made a right decision…
As we grow older we do not enjoy anything consciously. It’s either recommended by someone or we use our protective shield of skepticism in trying out something too fast. Educated guesses some time makes on take risk. Information permeating from aids around makes us try for it.
Above and all the hormonal triggering within that encoded already makes us get perplexed between what we understand and what we feel. We cannot escape from our own body and its own rebellion unless we try to bend our own natural flow of thoughts. We try to seek reclusion from the unchecked moral codes devised by religions and teachings.
All those growing years makes us ignore our own deliberate attempts to understand things and processes through the basic blocks of learning. We reach a phase in life where we see without seeing, listen without listening, smell without smelling, feel without feeling and taste without tasting. We sometimes ascribe this lack of sensitivity to lack of time.
And when confronted with such divine experience we shiver like a dry leaf. It makes us suddenly go back to our infancy but in a different dimension. Here we knew what is happening and yet knew not what would be the consequence. How best to make it merged with all sensory perceptions united to take to the deepest core of heart. Even the heart is tensed in it won way to see how it shall be received and brain goes mad in organizing things that go haywire and disoriented. Every cell and element within our body crave for this pleasure that is so fearsome to contemplate.
The fear and pleasure is proportionately increased if we are deep in an emotional bonding with its contributor. We suddenly forget all the discipline and modesty we learnt over years that’s enforced on us by means of every moment passed away in the process of education and learning. The external mannerisms in the world try not to elevate this precious feeling for the sake of hiding their own ecstasy, fearing perhaps… shall be treated as blasphemy. No one sane shall ever let this sweetest memory go away even when it gets saturated, diluted or super saturated over a period of time with repetitions as such. But when close our eyes and go back in our own heart’s time machine, every pore of our body sizzles in anticipation of such nostalgia.
The looks that arrest my heart… the voice that restarts my arrested heart… the radiating aura of physical proximity making me touch… or… making me die to touch… the aroma that refreshes not only my lungs but my soul… and ultimately… the taste offered hesitatingly… tentatively… trying to accept what’s happening pushing away quandaries deep inside… feeling the pulsating numbness creeping up the powerful things that otherwise have master control over my body… and the pleasure that makes me scream silently as I experience the word “OUT OF THE WORLD EXPERIENCE” without knowing anything about those words till that point of time. The silence that follows as the blissful moments accelerates at light speed and… subsides within… as I am a mare human and not capable to absorb this intense emotion…
I am one of those very few who remembers this unique experience that most of us might have forgotten. If some of them remember it they may have showed it in a defiant gesture to give no more importance to it. One it goes inside mind it just resides in the form of data that usable over a period of time. When the same gets repeated it’s acknowledged with deserved respect but the feeling of virgin reception is lost. Perhaps one who is blessed with so many such occasions lined up in his life may totally forget the roots of it.
I am fortunate to remember every vivid detail even today… as I get drenched in that numbness again as I think of it. Blood rushed to head and heart trying harder to beat back and forth. Head suddenly realizes that it’s the most useless thing that otherwise dominates everything… legs could not run and hands could not take control.
I thank Mach… to be the one who gifted me the elixir of life that made me a complete man. I was referring to my first kiss… Thank you baby…
It’s a kind of quandary that one would experience when he is an infant. (It’s also quandary that one would experience when she is an infant). Knowing this world through five senses when nothing else is comprehensible to us… to watch and listen and smell and touch and taste. A fascinating spectacle to see a baby looks at something and… attracted to a sound and then…tries grabbing it… to smell not knowingly and then… pop it in mouth…
To flinch face if the taste is bad and to relish it repeatedly if liked. Explored in finest possible way to get the information embedded in brain for future use… Forgotten for immediate use but retrieved lightening fast when confronted again. Judged by repeated usage to use it again or not… Apply education and knowledge to reconsider if we made a right decision…
As we grow older we do not enjoy anything consciously. It’s either recommended by someone or we use our protective shield of skepticism in trying out something too fast. Educated guesses some time makes on take risk. Information permeating from aids around makes us try for it.
Above and all the hormonal triggering within that encoded already makes us get perplexed between what we understand and what we feel. We cannot escape from our own body and its own rebellion unless we try to bend our own natural flow of thoughts. We try to seek reclusion from the unchecked moral codes devised by religions and teachings.
All those growing years makes us ignore our own deliberate attempts to understand things and processes through the basic blocks of learning. We reach a phase in life where we see without seeing, listen without listening, smell without smelling, feel without feeling and taste without tasting. We sometimes ascribe this lack of sensitivity to lack of time.
And when confronted with such divine experience we shiver like a dry leaf. It makes us suddenly go back to our infancy but in a different dimension. Here we knew what is happening and yet knew not what would be the consequence. How best to make it merged with all sensory perceptions united to take to the deepest core of heart. Even the heart is tensed in it won way to see how it shall be received and brain goes mad in organizing things that go haywire and disoriented. Every cell and element within our body crave for this pleasure that is so fearsome to contemplate.
The fear and pleasure is proportionately increased if we are deep in an emotional bonding with its contributor. We suddenly forget all the discipline and modesty we learnt over years that’s enforced on us by means of every moment passed away in the process of education and learning. The external mannerisms in the world try not to elevate this precious feeling for the sake of hiding their own ecstasy, fearing perhaps… shall be treated as blasphemy. No one sane shall ever let this sweetest memory go away even when it gets saturated, diluted or super saturated over a period of time with repetitions as such. But when close our eyes and go back in our own heart’s time machine, every pore of our body sizzles in anticipation of such nostalgia.
The looks that arrest my heart… the voice that restarts my arrested heart… the radiating aura of physical proximity making me touch… or… making me die to touch… the aroma that refreshes not only my lungs but my soul… and ultimately… the taste offered hesitatingly… tentatively… trying to accept what’s happening pushing away quandaries deep inside… feeling the pulsating numbness creeping up the powerful things that otherwise have master control over my body… and the pleasure that makes me scream silently as I experience the word “OUT OF THE WORLD EXPERIENCE” without knowing anything about those words till that point of time. The silence that follows as the blissful moments accelerates at light speed and… subsides within… as I am a mare human and not capable to absorb this intense emotion…
I am one of those very few who remembers this unique experience that most of us might have forgotten. If some of them remember it they may have showed it in a defiant gesture to give no more importance to it. One it goes inside mind it just resides in the form of data that usable over a period of time. When the same gets repeated it’s acknowledged with deserved respect but the feeling of virgin reception is lost. Perhaps one who is blessed with so many such occasions lined up in his life may totally forget the roots of it.
I am fortunate to remember every vivid detail even today… as I get drenched in that numbness again as I think of it. Blood rushed to head and heart trying harder to beat back and forth. Head suddenly realizes that it’s the most useless thing that otherwise dominates everything… legs could not run and hands could not take control.
I thank Mach… to be the one who gifted me the elixir of life that made me a complete man. I was referring to my first kiss… Thank you baby…
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