Why one would hates someone???
That reasons that generally come across my crocked mind are…
1. When you realize you can’t reach what they attained and still want it badly
2. When you find not a way to get back what you lost and loved so dearly
3. When you think that someone took advantage of your loved one and yet you could not do anything about it
4. And… I ran out of reasons and I don’t know why you would hate someone…
And recently I happen to discover a new possibility for someone… to hate someone they loved. Especially when someone is trying to get rid of the bondage of love you generously shared and received from them. The reasons may not be totally egoistic. But sometimes hatred is a tool that could effectively be employed to make someone go away from you. A kind of counter equation or an anti-theory that simplifies the process of getting rid of emotional burden that’s created and nurtured by good will and good faith over a period of time in the name of love.
Ironically… I compare that with getting rid of the dirt, grim and sweat after you worked hard to create something beautiful in life….and then go take a shower and become fresh and… hate your soiled cloths. If you still love your cloths you will wash them and use them and if you think they served their purpose… you just get rid of them. Quite possible that often you find yourself in a dilemma and could not quite get rid of them but start hating them. And one fine day your hatred towards what served you would make you banish your propensity to love them and… simply dump them in garbage.
Perhaps the above example I so commonly practiced and hence… so insipid in accepted comprehension. Perhaps we must get rid of all those things that made us sweat and dirty and look towards the next day that again makes us sultry and dirty.
Personal relations found on emotions are sometimes subjected to this strange paradox. You deliberately start hating a friend or feel like wiping your heart clean of your long time lover. I am not talking about people who spring right beside you through family and kin. I am talking about those ideal specimens you find in your life invited or uninvited but… accepted with your heart.
Now why do we hate someone whom we loved in past or… Love still???
When you ware out the protective layer of love in your heart that buries your fears and frustrations or disagreements that are not appealing to you within that person you love. When you wish to develop a new layer of love for someone else in your heart flushing out all the negative emotions of the person you loved earlier and ensure that he or she goes away in pain or disgusted or humiliated, you will tear the layer of love you developed… and hate the one you love.
A deepest observation made by someone unknown person to me predicts that one falls in love with a personality… but must live with the character. I think living with the character of the personality we love is what amounts to true love. The character that’s developed over the crust of ego and laced with pragmatic experiences sure makes someone unyielding and unbreakable unless they realize who they are and what they are. And I believe it could not be totally achieved.
That reasons that generally come across my crocked mind are…
1. When you realize you can’t reach what they attained and still want it badly
2. When you find not a way to get back what you lost and loved so dearly
3. When you think that someone took advantage of your loved one and yet you could not do anything about it
4. And… I ran out of reasons and I don’t know why you would hate someone…
And recently I happen to discover a new possibility for someone… to hate someone they loved. Especially when someone is trying to get rid of the bondage of love you generously shared and received from them. The reasons may not be totally egoistic. But sometimes hatred is a tool that could effectively be employed to make someone go away from you. A kind of counter equation or an anti-theory that simplifies the process of getting rid of emotional burden that’s created and nurtured by good will and good faith over a period of time in the name of love.
Ironically… I compare that with getting rid of the dirt, grim and sweat after you worked hard to create something beautiful in life….and then go take a shower and become fresh and… hate your soiled cloths. If you still love your cloths you will wash them and use them and if you think they served their purpose… you just get rid of them. Quite possible that often you find yourself in a dilemma and could not quite get rid of them but start hating them. And one fine day your hatred towards what served you would make you banish your propensity to love them and… simply dump them in garbage.
Perhaps the above example I so commonly practiced and hence… so insipid in accepted comprehension. Perhaps we must get rid of all those things that made us sweat and dirty and look towards the next day that again makes us sultry and dirty.
Personal relations found on emotions are sometimes subjected to this strange paradox. You deliberately start hating a friend or feel like wiping your heart clean of your long time lover. I am not talking about people who spring right beside you through family and kin. I am talking about those ideal specimens you find in your life invited or uninvited but… accepted with your heart.
Now why do we hate someone whom we loved in past or… Love still???
When you ware out the protective layer of love in your heart that buries your fears and frustrations or disagreements that are not appealing to you within that person you love. When you wish to develop a new layer of love for someone else in your heart flushing out all the negative emotions of the person you loved earlier and ensure that he or she goes away in pain or disgusted or humiliated, you will tear the layer of love you developed… and hate the one you love.
A deepest observation made by someone unknown person to me predicts that one falls in love with a personality… but must live with the character. I think living with the character of the personality we love is what amounts to true love. The character that’s developed over the crust of ego and laced with pragmatic experiences sure makes someone unyielding and unbreakable unless they realize who they are and what they are. And I believe it could not be totally achieved.
Most of the times what we feel comfortable with our own selves may not be truly appreciated by someone just because they are in love with us. An invisible fissure is developed there and stays dormant awaiting further pressure of intolerance as we take life and relation for granted.
That’s why I feel one must not take love for granted. It has to be given virgin importance every time we happen to confront it. We need to understand that when we try to make someone we love so comfortable we must push our ego to the deepest limit of our heart’s recess. Telling them again and again how deeply you love them may not always be treated romantic. Sometimes the sparkle of love ebbs as people feel that they are satiated with that experience. This will happen most of the time when the relation is further cemented with social and legal acceptance in the form of marriage.
Sadly we cannot sustain a relation within our society unless it’s licensed with marriage, unlike European countries. It’s a collective paranoia within the society that drags everyone off their feet and push them deep in to the core of hypocrisy.
I do not mingle freely with anyone. Part of the reason… it is my character trait and the other is… an unspeakably disgusting attitude of people who are married and suspicious over my single status. I prefer not to please anyone in case I need to mask my real self… but I noticed that everyone is relaxed a bit when I confessed that I am deeply in love with someone. It must have given a hope to see me come towards their cluster one fine day.
Now when I am confronted with a harsh truth that the girl I loved so intensely and honestly… prefer not to be associated with me for her own valid or invalid reasons… I went blank with no imaginable solution within sight. Faith and optimism could not quite help me as this girl headed towards a noncommittal hatred. She claims not though but she feels so irked when I get an opportunity to tell her that I love her so much. She asks me that’s it’s not necessary to say things like that to her when we speak which is getting reduced to a rarity.
Now… what do I do???
Do I interpret her apathy or mildly mounting irritation as… hatred??? I know that I have some qualities that elicit disapproval but I think I was never successful in reaching any pinnacle of hate worthy character traits. How could someone decide to hate someone they loved so much???
I think it had to be done against their will. Especially when there is not reasonable parameter that widens the fissure of character related disapproval??? If they find an alternative to the person they loved, do they not discover some other fissure that’s unknown to them earlier while the earlier inconvenience is wiped out in some way???
So… what’s the way out???
It is very tough to encounter someone who starts hating you when both of you were actually in love … in past. Now the way love reciprocates love does not mean that suspicion reciprocate suspicion or apathy reciprocates apathy. I think this is where one must swallow stupid pride and stay balanced. One must have faith and try smiling. Often the victim shall be forced in to silence… that kind of silence that is so corrosive when relations are strained. All we need to recall is the sweet moments we shared with our loved once and not a single thing that pulled us back to the constrictive shells of our egos.
Just to pray for those who are so perplexed about their priorities and be there just nearby to… go running towards them when their need is crystallized for us. This moment may not come immediately. But I still expect to live for a few more decades. And I will love her all the time and… be ready to go towards her… when her apathy fades and… her hatred disintegrates…
That’s why I feel one must not take love for granted. It has to be given virgin importance every time we happen to confront it. We need to understand that when we try to make someone we love so comfortable we must push our ego to the deepest limit of our heart’s recess. Telling them again and again how deeply you love them may not always be treated romantic. Sometimes the sparkle of love ebbs as people feel that they are satiated with that experience. This will happen most of the time when the relation is further cemented with social and legal acceptance in the form of marriage.
Sadly we cannot sustain a relation within our society unless it’s licensed with marriage, unlike European countries. It’s a collective paranoia within the society that drags everyone off their feet and push them deep in to the core of hypocrisy.
I do not mingle freely with anyone. Part of the reason… it is my character trait and the other is… an unspeakably disgusting attitude of people who are married and suspicious over my single status. I prefer not to please anyone in case I need to mask my real self… but I noticed that everyone is relaxed a bit when I confessed that I am deeply in love with someone. It must have given a hope to see me come towards their cluster one fine day.
Now when I am confronted with a harsh truth that the girl I loved so intensely and honestly… prefer not to be associated with me for her own valid or invalid reasons… I went blank with no imaginable solution within sight. Faith and optimism could not quite help me as this girl headed towards a noncommittal hatred. She claims not though but she feels so irked when I get an opportunity to tell her that I love her so much. She asks me that’s it’s not necessary to say things like that to her when we speak which is getting reduced to a rarity.
Now… what do I do???
Do I interpret her apathy or mildly mounting irritation as… hatred??? I know that I have some qualities that elicit disapproval but I think I was never successful in reaching any pinnacle of hate worthy character traits. How could someone decide to hate someone they loved so much???
I think it had to be done against their will. Especially when there is not reasonable parameter that widens the fissure of character related disapproval??? If they find an alternative to the person they loved, do they not discover some other fissure that’s unknown to them earlier while the earlier inconvenience is wiped out in some way???
So… what’s the way out???
It is very tough to encounter someone who starts hating you when both of you were actually in love … in past. Now the way love reciprocates love does not mean that suspicion reciprocate suspicion or apathy reciprocates apathy. I think this is where one must swallow stupid pride and stay balanced. One must have faith and try smiling. Often the victim shall be forced in to silence… that kind of silence that is so corrosive when relations are strained. All we need to recall is the sweet moments we shared with our loved once and not a single thing that pulled us back to the constrictive shells of our egos.
Just to pray for those who are so perplexed about their priorities and be there just nearby to… go running towards them when their need is crystallized for us. This moment may not come immediately. But I still expect to live for a few more decades. And I will love her all the time and… be ready to go towards her… when her apathy fades and… her hatred disintegrates…
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