It is with deep pain and resignation I am writing this blog. It is about how discrimination starts within the family and gets justification towards the abetted crime.
It is about the girl child in Indian families. First I do not truly believe that development and education totally eradicated the stigma towards a girl child. They are associated with liability though they are the only one who truly loves their families. I am baffled in interpreting this fact and its subliminal response from parents when the issue of unstinted support comes.
Somehow girls are the reason for a family pride with their beauty, intelligence, diligence and tenderness but these qualities work against them when the parental ego comes between the girl and parent.
When they are within the embryo of family they are dependent and when they stand on their feet to go face the word and ride in rapids in equal fervor with male counterparts they are marginally arrogant or irreversibly spoilt… depending on how others see it.
I am yet to come in terms with the fact about the choices a girl makes and her aspirations are honored unequivocally. It would be innocuous if I expect parents to accept everything the girl wants but with their accumulated wisdom and broader outlook, they must nudge their child towards what is safer and better and yet makes the daughter not feel deprived of.
Most of the time… it would be torturous for a girl to confess her emotional inclinations about her chosen partner to those whom she loves irrevocably. It is an unhealthy minority that does it and minuscule of that percentage gets away with that they want. And out of these successful specimens, almost all of them chosen wisely with respect to their anticipated standard parameters. Controlling factors like religion, cast, culture, region and social equivalence coupled with money and power always play role in matters like this.
Amazingly the parents forget that they too underwent that phase of social conditioning in their own youth. People learn by their specific way in reacting towards and situation that arises. This is what I believe… is experience, and not something that comes in our way. When we evaluate how we reacted and what were the consequences we always strive for a better ascension and at least prefer not to repeat the in appropriate solution we chose earlier.
The only impossible fact I see here is the biological constraint that seem to dominate a female’s chastity. She could get pregnant and let the whole world howl about righteousness. It is disgusting but not surprising to see pious people who point fingers at girls finding valid reason about their dressing and gait and open hearted laughter.
If I go look deeper in the moral code of conduct devised by our great religions, every god damn doctrine preaches about reverence and respect towards women. All the while they are not even qualified to receive a look with compassion when the issue of protecting their sensuality is concerned.
I happen to come across so many such incidents where I had to listen to their suppressed grief tiding and ebbing within. Perhaps I witnessed these only because I was talking to them on net or phone, because their own premonition may never allow them to unfold their fears in real life with a real person.
All in all girl act more responsibly to a given situation where their family happiness is concerned. The way it needs an iron will to love someone truly; we also need strength in looking beyond what we see right in front of us.
Complacence in our pride that arm twists our own daughters, sisters surely gives us applauded victory that’s hallow, when it comes to the tears of a girl that are shed silently for the rest of her life. It is almost impossible for our male ego to empathize with their resilience and we think we have done better.
Perhaps I have been too biased towards women. Perhaps I need to look back and listen to the demand for sanity and reality… Perhaps it not possible for us to please all women… Perhaps we do not have patience to yield to their own unpredictable mood swings. But we could do one thing…
We could do one thing perfectly. We could choose one… only one girl in our life… Be it our sister, our friend, wife, mother or daughter… and we treat that single person with utter devotion. We bear the pain of what ever disagreement we might encounter in preserving this ideal. We will be the first one to ask her forgiveness should we violate our own oath to ourselves. We love them unconditionally and we truly deserve the contentment of ensuring smiles of one girl or woman in this world. Attaining this is not at all easy and it has to go till we breathe our last. It would reward us with enemies within our own domain and we get torn when that girl chose to go away from us forgetting all the love we gave them. We would sleep in peace at night remembering all the silly things we did to make her laugh and feel confident and safe.
I personally think a daughter is the best girl to fit the above place. We see watch her enter this world in tightly shut eyes lips and fists. We watch her grow from toddler to child to pre teen to teen and… and bloom in to a woman. We feed on her love and attention in her own innocent to evolving ways. If you have no daughter please give this place to your wife. If you are yet to get married please give this place to your sister till she gets married or your mother if you are truly noble. Please smile at a girl who is stranger on a shy way and lower your eyes so that she feels not uncomfortable.
Think it hard my friends… for we have only one life and… we make one more life better who needs us more…
No comments:
Post a Comment