Rats

Nagpur is a wonderful city. Wide roads and smiling people cheap and delicious food. Climate could be a pleasant cold to scorching heat and pouring rain. I was there for a few days on the account of some office related work meeting a client.

After being drained of all those hectic schedules I had nothing else to do than wait for next morning to catch flight back home. I thought I would go watch movie at a local theater.

I am truly disgusted at the extravagance and opulence oozes out of so called Multiplex theaters that are good in making money and allowing the rich to get rid of their money the way God’s mysterious ways work. Two hundred and fifty bucks for a ticket, 25 fucking rupees for a half cup of watery tea that must be weaker than what they serve in solitary confinement and fifty filthy rupees for a bottle of fizz drink that sure makes you gush out all your indigestion about the exploitation.

I started hating that long back and loathed even intensely when I realized that the capitalistic forces of the world chose to rob me in a legal but novel way. They started playing Hollywood movies in English at Multiplexes only. I gritted my teeth but let not my ego go haywire. I stamped my feet and sneered at their might like David laughed at Goliath.

Ohh yeah... I would rather stop watching movies than getting robbed in broad day light over which they even issue me a receipt. But then there seem to be some die hard movie theater owners who struggled harder to get those movies in single screen theater that are affordable to me. And after a while they too succumbed.

Looking at this trend the devious forces of capitalism came up with an idea to rob me again. They started dubbing English movies in to Hindi. And these are played at single screen theaters that are affordable to me.

But it is unspeakable pain to gape at Kate Winslet and Tom Cruise scream “Hey Bhagavaan” in place of “Oh Shit”. Slowly I started relishing this paradigm shift in sensory clash and started enjoying the spectacle the way a lunatic laughs at the world in general.

In the most recent 007 movie “The Quantum of Solace” MI6 Chief says “Bond… Tum doston aur dushamnon ke beech ke antar samzhneki maanasik santhulan khoobhaite hoo” (Means… Bond you lost your sense isn distinguishing between friends and foes) Yikess…. & Hahahahahaha…..

What ever…

So… what I was telling you guys is that I went to watch this movie “Raj Tilak” (Otherwise in English its known as In the name of The King) starring Jason Statham, Lile Sebeisky and so on.

When I looked at the ticket rates my eye balls rolled out of my skull sockets and I had to grope for them on floor to push them back where they belong to. Believe me… the entry tariff is a mare 20/30/50 bucks. The highest class is four times lesser than the lowest class in a Multiplex..

I was a little skeptic at this illusion that was no lesser than reality. So I victimized myself willingly at a cost of 30 bucks. And when I entered the theater the seating is not exactly plush or opulent but of utilitarian and Spartan. That’s OK with me. I am here to watch another tirade that either makes me laugh my head of or laugh… my head off.

Now I wish not to talk about the movie. Don’t ask me why…

But I turned my head around in between and to my utter astonishment I discovered that people sitting on my right side were so boorish enough keep their feet on front row seat backs. I seethed with anger and wanted to straighten their attitude. But the army of people on right side looked great enough to risk my bones and tendons an unwarranted assault. Hence I looked towards my left side for the much needed moral support of those non existent gentlemen who were sitting with their feet on floor like me.

Yikes… even the lefties were sting with their feet high in the air. And a quick scan 360 degrees in horizontal plane made me realize that I am a dwarfed Davis sitting amid armies of Goliaths. I sulked and resumed watching movie.

After a few moments my peripheral vision caught some movement on floor. It was conspicuous enough to distract my attention from movie and I looked. A burly mass at the size of a small pig was scurrying slowly between the walk way. I could not quite fathom who would pay money to creep on floor instead of watching a movie. Further inspection revealed that what ever it is… it was not alone. Few other esteemed community members too was relishing the leftovers on floor in utter defiance to the superiority of human beings present.

My heart gripped in the clod clutch of fear when I realized what those things are…

What the heck… I told myself….

And I put both of my feet on the front row seat backs….

(Don’t laugh… OK?????)