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Wednesday, November 05, 2008

Personal Space


I encountered this concept recently though I have been listening about this long since. I never paid attention to this as I find it amusing when people talk of personal space when ever they wanted to get away with what ever they do.

I beg your pardon. I mean no disrespect. Personal space perhaps is an inner sanctum where no one is allowed and a person is linked to no one else then self. But I find this contradicting and hilarious as the so called personal space eliminates someone and invites someone else in to it.

Perhaps it’s a spontaneous self defense mechanism that ensures compartmentalized chunks of life that’s belongs not to one’s own. I am a little hazy and blur here. What I mean to say is if we compartmentalize information in bits and pieces that’s accessible to some and allowed not to be accessed by someone there by navigating through troubled waters… perhaps its nice enough to see reason in it.

Perhaps people get bored of those they love and loving them becomes burden to them when they look for new events or personalities inspire them in an unknown way. Perhaps they see errors and fallacies that were unseen earlier in the person they entrusted with their heart with and suddenly feel that they mortgaged their heart and need to redeem what they lost in the name of love.

Perhaps… the dynamic flow of life and its demands makes them realize about a reality that they need to have personal space that’s not really personal in its quintessential sense but only a kind of ephemeral respite.

Perhaps they wish to push away their staple diet and suddenly invite ice cream and pizza in to their personal space. Perhaps they chose exciting flavors over insipid nutrition.

Makes me think and go back to the one and only wisdom I gained in life. “Innocence is the only emotion left unpolluted”. I wonder what would happen if a fetus asks for personal space or a mother demands personal space when she is carrying her baby.

A sardonic smile creeps up my face and silence shrugs that sardonic smile… towards the drains of pain.

Perhaps the concept of god has something to do with personal space. Because god forgives everything and his forgiveness is unconditional and ready made. Perhaps those who are in dire need of personal space are assured with their own sense of support that’s universally granted with a silent prayer first and loud defiance later.

I am not a child to understand not the realities of life where compartmentalization of life is concerned. I am not at all advocating that one must not have personal space as far as life in general is concerned.
I close my heart to the world in general. Keep the doors ajar to prospects and possibilities who might wish to enter my heart. And open doors wide open for my friends to come and go as they wish. At last… I keep my heart solely meant for someone whom I arduously love

But I feel anguish prolonged and accentuated the knife of so called personal space is driven deep in my heart like a rusted blade that yet not lost its sadistic sharpness. I open my eyes in wide glistening with tears as it rips the… compartments of my heart and moves randomly to gain its supremacy over my submission.

At the end… I realize through one is bright in color and thick in consistency…the other has no color and so volatile… both of them taste salty…

So… I just stand tall… wipe my tears and… go ahead….

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