I love Idiot Box… Or… Do I say I do not exactly love idiot box???
Television is a bundle of all my fantasies come true. It allows my imagination no more to bloom and makes my senses point towards a single direction where my eyes go wide and inanimate like a zombie and my ears care not to listen to anything.
And the struggle within my own rebellious head… I mean… the perpetual war between conscious and subconscious mind would result in a side effects that make my motor control go havoc. I mean my fingers would hit remote and my eyes roll like an infant at a rattle that’s hung above his crib. And my ears try harder to digest the pandemonium passing by and try to pick pleasant aural morsels. Then my brain tries juggle between visual spectacles and auditory attractions.
Man… it’s a mess. I love the guy who invented TV but I hate the guy who invented remote controller. I do not know how many calories I could burn by pressing remote control buttons per hour. In good old days when channels were less and that antique looking idiot box used to have an electromechanical tuner… I used to flex my baby muscles and clamp my teeth in determined snarl as I try rotating the knob that refused to oblige my efforts. Then… Grrrr…. I stiffen my 6 inch biceps and felt like a winner as it made… Tttthhhuuupppp Sound… It meant that the channel now is changed. Then the next exercise is even more challenging. To tune the channel I need to rotate the ring either clock wise or anti clock wise. The images used to look funny… some times grainy some times as if a cement truck hit their faces and they are still alive and talking.
And that time we used to have only one government operated channel that promptly used start by 1800 hours and end by 2300 hours. It was nothing lesser than the long wait to witness god’s arrival. And those rich people in the street who used to have TV sets in their home area generous people as well. They allowed the street mob to barge in their home and feel so content about the social obligations they supposed to observe and honor. And we little kids used to gape at the tube as it made a static noise Ttttuuuuyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy…. And then the signal pattern used to come in color bars. I was not aware till a few years… till the color TV came in circulation that… the color bars are… colorful. On monochrome tube they looked so fascinating as it inspired my anticipatory zeal in witnessing TV programs within next few minutes.
Some times I used to doze before TV and the host shook me awake and asked me to go home. And dad look at me like an over sized chameleon with protruding eyes mutely interrogating the reason for my long absence at home. I was too shrewd not to tell him that I have been watching TV at neighbors place but I used to tell him that neighbor uncle wanted me to be with them for a while. Dad then used to scratch his head in uncertainty to choose between his budding sadism to hit me or nascent appreciation about my mannerisms in impressing our neighbor.
Then dad bought a new TV. Today when I look at it… it looks like a relic from Indiana Zones movie in which Lord Jesus Christ might have hidden is wine glass. And in my preteen pride I fought with dad one time because he was not allowing me to watch TV at late night. I told him I will never watch his TV again. And I kept my promise till dad was not around home. I used to run between street door and back to TV… vice versa to finely balance my esteem and my greed. When I used to detect dad coming from far end of the street I used to run back to TV to switch it off. It used to take its own sweet time and I used to tear my hair till the tell tale signs of live TV extinguished.
Then came TV channels. I used to boast my knowledge before my less ignorant friends that there is something known as MTV in America that plays songs 24 hours a day. They used to open their mouths in unison in which even I too was an honored participant. Twenteeeee foouuurrrrr hours of music. Wow … wow… wow… I told my friends that one day I will go to America to watch MTV. And yikes… so called globalization shattered my dreams. Within a few years MTV came to India. I did watched MTV like a zombie for a few days and then got irritated. This is costing too much of my attention where I started ignoring the incessant warnings from my pressure filled crouch.
Then came hundreds of channels littered with loads of advertisements and serials made by a social terrorist (Now don’t ask me who that terrorist is… My Indian friends… if they are males or enlightened females would identify her in nano seconds) I started wondering if I must continue to love what I used to love since my childhood.
Today I prefer watching news channels, science channels, movie channels and cartoon channels. This mania of running a twenty four hour show by every channels getting on my nerves as Indian news channels started picking every Tom Dick and Harry kind of news. And they give on spot evaluations and analysis in which you will understand everything and nothing in unparalleled precision. Opps.. if I keep on watching them I could develop eloquence in communication that makes one satiated about the answer he got from me and at the same time he understands not what he got. I love to speak like a politician.
And cartoon network used to my favorite with Tom and Jerry, Fred Flintstones, Donald Duck, Jeff and Mutt, Laugholumpics, Adventures of Johnny Quest and Grafield. (Hey guys.. Let me tell you something. My cousin Deepa calls me Garfield when ever I go there home. Cause I do only three things... Eat, Sleep and wacth TV). And today it’s miserable to watch a crooked combination of western toon characters speaking Indian dialects. Forget it…
Now remains movie channels and science channels.
I love HBO, Star Movies, World Movies, Hallmark, Zee MGM, Sony Pix Channels in movies and Discovery, National geographic and History Channel.
I dream of having a big TV of my own where in I shall be the master of the destiny of my remote controller. But I also am scared that I will lose my sleep and interest in my first love… that’s reading books.
Such a critical paradox… What do I do friends?????
Television is a bundle of all my fantasies come true. It allows my imagination no more to bloom and makes my senses point towards a single direction where my eyes go wide and inanimate like a zombie and my ears care not to listen to anything.
And the struggle within my own rebellious head… I mean… the perpetual war between conscious and subconscious mind would result in a side effects that make my motor control go havoc. I mean my fingers would hit remote and my eyes roll like an infant at a rattle that’s hung above his crib. And my ears try harder to digest the pandemonium passing by and try to pick pleasant aural morsels. Then my brain tries juggle between visual spectacles and auditory attractions.
Man… it’s a mess. I love the guy who invented TV but I hate the guy who invented remote controller. I do not know how many calories I could burn by pressing remote control buttons per hour. In good old days when channels were less and that antique looking idiot box used to have an electromechanical tuner… I used to flex my baby muscles and clamp my teeth in determined snarl as I try rotating the knob that refused to oblige my efforts. Then… Grrrr…. I stiffen my 6 inch biceps and felt like a winner as it made… Tttthhhuuupppp Sound… It meant that the channel now is changed. Then the next exercise is even more challenging. To tune the channel I need to rotate the ring either clock wise or anti clock wise. The images used to look funny… some times grainy some times as if a cement truck hit their faces and they are still alive and talking.
And that time we used to have only one government operated channel that promptly used start by 1800 hours and end by 2300 hours. It was nothing lesser than the long wait to witness god’s arrival. And those rich people in the street who used to have TV sets in their home area generous people as well. They allowed the street mob to barge in their home and feel so content about the social obligations they supposed to observe and honor. And we little kids used to gape at the tube as it made a static noise Ttttuuuuyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy…. And then the signal pattern used to come in color bars. I was not aware till a few years… till the color TV came in circulation that… the color bars are… colorful. On monochrome tube they looked so fascinating as it inspired my anticipatory zeal in witnessing TV programs within next few minutes.
Some times I used to doze before TV and the host shook me awake and asked me to go home. And dad look at me like an over sized chameleon with protruding eyes mutely interrogating the reason for my long absence at home. I was too shrewd not to tell him that I have been watching TV at neighbors place but I used to tell him that neighbor uncle wanted me to be with them for a while. Dad then used to scratch his head in uncertainty to choose between his budding sadism to hit me or nascent appreciation about my mannerisms in impressing our neighbor.
Then dad bought a new TV. Today when I look at it… it looks like a relic from Indiana Zones movie in which Lord Jesus Christ might have hidden is wine glass. And in my preteen pride I fought with dad one time because he was not allowing me to watch TV at late night. I told him I will never watch his TV again. And I kept my promise till dad was not around home. I used to run between street door and back to TV… vice versa to finely balance my esteem and my greed. When I used to detect dad coming from far end of the street I used to run back to TV to switch it off. It used to take its own sweet time and I used to tear my hair till the tell tale signs of live TV extinguished.
Then came TV channels. I used to boast my knowledge before my less ignorant friends that there is something known as MTV in America that plays songs 24 hours a day. They used to open their mouths in unison in which even I too was an honored participant. Twenteeeee foouuurrrrr hours of music. Wow … wow… wow… I told my friends that one day I will go to America to watch MTV. And yikes… so called globalization shattered my dreams. Within a few years MTV came to India. I did watched MTV like a zombie for a few days and then got irritated. This is costing too much of my attention where I started ignoring the incessant warnings from my pressure filled crouch.
Then came hundreds of channels littered with loads of advertisements and serials made by a social terrorist (Now don’t ask me who that terrorist is… My Indian friends… if they are males or enlightened females would identify her in nano seconds) I started wondering if I must continue to love what I used to love since my childhood.
Today I prefer watching news channels, science channels, movie channels and cartoon channels. This mania of running a twenty four hour show by every channels getting on my nerves as Indian news channels started picking every Tom Dick and Harry kind of news. And they give on spot evaluations and analysis in which you will understand everything and nothing in unparalleled precision. Opps.. if I keep on watching them I could develop eloquence in communication that makes one satiated about the answer he got from me and at the same time he understands not what he got. I love to speak like a politician.
And cartoon network used to my favorite with Tom and Jerry, Fred Flintstones, Donald Duck, Jeff and Mutt, Laugholumpics, Adventures of Johnny Quest and Grafield. (Hey guys.. Let me tell you something. My cousin Deepa calls me Garfield when ever I go there home. Cause I do only three things... Eat, Sleep and wacth TV). And today it’s miserable to watch a crooked combination of western toon characters speaking Indian dialects. Forget it…
Now remains movie channels and science channels.
I love HBO, Star Movies, World Movies, Hallmark, Zee MGM, Sony Pix Channels in movies and Discovery, National geographic and History Channel.
I dream of having a big TV of my own where in I shall be the master of the destiny of my remote controller. But I also am scared that I will lose my sleep and interest in my first love… that’s reading books.
Such a critical paradox… What do I do friends?????
No comments:
Post a Comment