Hope

Megs asked me to write something on hope. I hope… I understand hope adequate enough to write something… that hopefully sounds better.

Hope is the most inspiring force that’s so subliminal in our lives. It need not be anticipation that is a calculated future of facts materialized already. Hope is the most potent force that sometimes makes you refuse that you are foolishly opening your eyes wider to an illusive reality.

I hoped so much in life but not with so much of strength in it. I am not a pessimist but somehow it amused me to hope for things and expect miracles especially I am not superstitious about good things and their entry in my life.

But I hoped so much in love.

I though I will never fell in love as I am not that chivalrous. I have been a shy guy earlier and now I became stoic and pensive in matters of love. It took years for me to confess someone that I loved her. It was too much for her to reciprocate as she was not ready for this emotion in her life.

I hoped with my heart throbbing and I pushed away all my so called sense and sensibility. I just wanted my hopes to be rewarded. I was too egoistic in seeking my own success where other person’s heart is involved.

My hopes were bloomed because she thought it’s not nice to hurt me. I was elated and over a period of time she thought it’s not at all nicer to hurt people who loved her more than I loved her.

My hopes those that I preserved in my heart were miserably expelled out of my heart through my eyes. They caressed me in warm affection as they glided past my cheeks and died in streaks. I hoped that the tears I am shedding are an illusion and I hoped again that I shall be granted with hope.

I was given false hope. Like a child fascinated by rainbow that decorated sky above knowing not that it will fade away. I was too unaware that as light comes rainbow goes. I could not see if cold comfort of smile is unique or warm relief of tears is a blessing. I hoped I should have done so many things in life to see myself perennially powerful so that hopes come running to my feet like sycophants.

I see money and power blesses people with what ever things they want and things they don’t want too. I was too naive to assume that love cures every heart ache. Too sure that the sense of belongingness could be a bond that fuses hearts together in perfect harmony.

I was so wrong. The dream world that dissipates when one open there is littered with so many good things people run after. I was and am too complacent in life that after earning to meet my needs all I must look up on is to make my loved one smile. I never know that everything is gauged in productivity and material worth.

But then I am not cynical to proclaim that hope is a hallucination. Hope can drive us towards any goal we may chose to have. Hope is the foundation to faith. Once the sights are fixed and targets are defined hope becomes a lubricant in making people move.

It is only that… some hopes are… hopeless….