I treat death as an immaterial topic. I neither know nor care to know about death. Then the question arises why I am writing something about it.
It’s an inevitable truth that we walk along with death towards our grave as every day pass by. We go after that without knowing about it and perhaps over a period of time we forget this.
It aroused my interest in two occasions. One is near death experience and another is death of someone who is nearer and dearer.
I underwent about six accidents that were almost near death experience and come out unscathed. Three of them were automobile accidents. I dived in a deep pit while I was speeding on my bike to avoid going under a truck and I was saved just because I was wearing a helmet. The helmet’s structural integrity was mercilessly sacrificed in saving my head. I was deeply shaken by that and somehow could not believe I am still alive. If that were a haven there were still people calling me and asking if I was OK and trying to help me out with the bike.
In 2nd accident the bus I was traveling hit a culvert and rolled like dice thrice. I tumbled like a marble within not hitting anything serious and by the next instant I was out of that bus I was more worried about finding my next transportation as I was late for my duty
3rd accident was purely idiotic. One of my friends tried his racing skills on an empty road with me beside him and…we hit 140KMPH in a brand new Mitsubishi lancer and this guy with a small moped was too unsure about crossing and not crossing road expecting some kind of miracle that would stop us before he cross him. We did not stop. The resultant hit was too much for us vehicle. We were no less heroic than Mad Max gang riders and the car not only jumped in the air but rotated twice and went landed on a baby coconut tree planted in the road divider completely destroying it. We sat there like zombies for a few minutes absorbing the tranquility of near death experience. When we came out of the car we saw the front axle was broken in front tire struts.
4th accident happened when I was a kid and tried learning swimming in our village canal. I was so confident of safety because the water level was never more than my neck. I become a fearless explorer in water and ended up stepping in to a deep ditch submerged within water. I just saw all possible things that so far could not be imagined by the special effects people of Hollywood. I was counting my left over nano seconds as I was bravely fighting back for land so that I could go home. I really do not know how I managed to come out of that ditch especially when I was not even a novice of swimming.
5th accident was me being enveloped in a chamber that’s filled with ammonia gas. This happened when I worked as an apprentice in a big factory trying to get the blue prints out of a reprographics processing unit when the attendant was not around. I felt my legs going rubber and by the time I came out I fall flat on floor. I do not know 1st aid measures they took to resurrect me back to life but this incidence created an uproar within the form about the safety practices they follow. In a way I felt like a hero as most of the people came to me enquiring about my safety… known and unknown alike.
In the same factory my 6 the accident occurred. While I was working near a machine some technician was moving a huge machine block weighing about 6 tones on over head crane. One of the two lopes carrying the machine snapped and the jerky imbalance in suspension suddenly tugged the machine to swing in to a wide ark. As it was approaching me with deadly speed people cried and I just fall flat out of instinct and….I saw…with my own eyes as that 6 tone metallic monster swung over my body. I rolled a side and ran back to safety. I was wondering what kind of pulp or jam I would have become if I were crushed under that machine.
Coming now to death of near and dear… I experienced all this when I was a little kid and do not even know the gravity of the event. I distinctly remember people sitting around the dead body of my aunt’s husband and crying. I just went there sat along with my mother and bored after a while. I ran out and played and by the time I got bored of play and returned back they were still wailing. I just went to my mother and slept with my head in her lap.
In another occasion I happen to have a friend at a far away place that I used to visit in my holidays. It’s my uncle’s town and I ran back to my friends home after I had to attend the idiotic concentration and curiosity displayed by the elders and neighbors around. I ran in to my friend’s home and screamed his name. her parents and sisters and brothers… all elders came out of their rooms and looked at me in a strange way. All of them were silent as I screamed his name again with less intent voice looking at them embarrassed. I was like a small animal with predators covering. I could not quite distinguish their emotions as I was eager to look behind their backs to see if my friend was coming.
His parents asked me to sit and asked about me and how I know their son. I told them that I came here on from small pace to visit my maternal uncle for holidays and that I used to play with their son in streets. His mother brought me some snacks as tears welling her eyes. They asked me to eat fist and were asking me questions about my own self. I was polite for a while as I was enjoying their hospitality with both of my tiny hands stuffing my mouth. But after a while I became restless and again asked about my friend. I asked if he did not return from school yet. That was the final blow. The mother burst in to animal like cry and her other family members hugged her and tried consoling her. I was deeply scared. I felt like trapped as I wanted to run away but my body was not cooperating. After a while I slowly told them in shivering voice that I wish to go home. Then the elder sister told me that my friend died in an accident. I really did not know what to say. I just said I will go home. And I ran back home.
When I reached home and told my uncle about my friend’s death they reprimanded me as to why I went there. I was too baffled. How do I know that my friend’s dead and… how could I stop my self running to his home to ask him to play with me??? I did not cry. All I felt is… I missed my friend. I was not sure if my friend would come back some other time but chose not to ask elders if he would come back so that I could play with him.
In my next trips to that place… I slowly started forgetting about my friend. I loved him a lot because he gave me his life time collection of match box labels. I kept them till I reached my preteens and suddenly I felt foolish possessing them. I just gave them to my brother who promptly scattered them in oblivion.
As I started growing and saw death around I noticed that I was more incline in watching people who wailed over the dead. The surge of pain so obvious and so uncontrollable sometimes used to scare me more than death itself. The impulsive feeling of inferiority and aloofness in victim’s immediate kin and the kindness and empathy displayed by other around made me surmise so many things.
Now I see not any form of death within my heart. And I deeply loath the concept of suicide. I believe life that has arrived in its own way must also go in its own way. I think not of death in any form… be it accidental, prolonged or objective oriented.
I how ever wish not to become a burden on anyone when I reach the threshold of death throes. I wish I could have such privacy to see nature around me in its placid emotions rather than people with sympathy and anguish in their faces. I wish I know not about my own death I sleep in peace and enter another world as I notice not.
I hope I shall be blessed with that kind of farewell…
It’s an inevitable truth that we walk along with death towards our grave as every day pass by. We go after that without knowing about it and perhaps over a period of time we forget this.
It aroused my interest in two occasions. One is near death experience and another is death of someone who is nearer and dearer.
I underwent about six accidents that were almost near death experience and come out unscathed. Three of them were automobile accidents. I dived in a deep pit while I was speeding on my bike to avoid going under a truck and I was saved just because I was wearing a helmet. The helmet’s structural integrity was mercilessly sacrificed in saving my head. I was deeply shaken by that and somehow could not believe I am still alive. If that were a haven there were still people calling me and asking if I was OK and trying to help me out with the bike.
In 2nd accident the bus I was traveling hit a culvert and rolled like dice thrice. I tumbled like a marble within not hitting anything serious and by the next instant I was out of that bus I was more worried about finding my next transportation as I was late for my duty
3rd accident was purely idiotic. One of my friends tried his racing skills on an empty road with me beside him and…we hit 140KMPH in a brand new Mitsubishi lancer and this guy with a small moped was too unsure about crossing and not crossing road expecting some kind of miracle that would stop us before he cross him. We did not stop. The resultant hit was too much for us vehicle. We were no less heroic than Mad Max gang riders and the car not only jumped in the air but rotated twice and went landed on a baby coconut tree planted in the road divider completely destroying it. We sat there like zombies for a few minutes absorbing the tranquility of near death experience. When we came out of the car we saw the front axle was broken in front tire struts.
4th accident happened when I was a kid and tried learning swimming in our village canal. I was so confident of safety because the water level was never more than my neck. I become a fearless explorer in water and ended up stepping in to a deep ditch submerged within water. I just saw all possible things that so far could not be imagined by the special effects people of Hollywood. I was counting my left over nano seconds as I was bravely fighting back for land so that I could go home. I really do not know how I managed to come out of that ditch especially when I was not even a novice of swimming.
5th accident was me being enveloped in a chamber that’s filled with ammonia gas. This happened when I worked as an apprentice in a big factory trying to get the blue prints out of a reprographics processing unit when the attendant was not around. I felt my legs going rubber and by the time I came out I fall flat on floor. I do not know 1st aid measures they took to resurrect me back to life but this incidence created an uproar within the form about the safety practices they follow. In a way I felt like a hero as most of the people came to me enquiring about my safety… known and unknown alike.
In the same factory my 6 the accident occurred. While I was working near a machine some technician was moving a huge machine block weighing about 6 tones on over head crane. One of the two lopes carrying the machine snapped and the jerky imbalance in suspension suddenly tugged the machine to swing in to a wide ark. As it was approaching me with deadly speed people cried and I just fall flat out of instinct and….I saw…with my own eyes as that 6 tone metallic monster swung over my body. I rolled a side and ran back to safety. I was wondering what kind of pulp or jam I would have become if I were crushed under that machine.
Coming now to death of near and dear… I experienced all this when I was a little kid and do not even know the gravity of the event. I distinctly remember people sitting around the dead body of my aunt’s husband and crying. I just went there sat along with my mother and bored after a while. I ran out and played and by the time I got bored of play and returned back they were still wailing. I just went to my mother and slept with my head in her lap.
In another occasion I happen to have a friend at a far away place that I used to visit in my holidays. It’s my uncle’s town and I ran back to my friends home after I had to attend the idiotic concentration and curiosity displayed by the elders and neighbors around. I ran in to my friend’s home and screamed his name. her parents and sisters and brothers… all elders came out of their rooms and looked at me in a strange way. All of them were silent as I screamed his name again with less intent voice looking at them embarrassed. I was like a small animal with predators covering. I could not quite distinguish their emotions as I was eager to look behind their backs to see if my friend was coming.
His parents asked me to sit and asked about me and how I know their son. I told them that I came here on from small pace to visit my maternal uncle for holidays and that I used to play with their son in streets. His mother brought me some snacks as tears welling her eyes. They asked me to eat fist and were asking me questions about my own self. I was polite for a while as I was enjoying their hospitality with both of my tiny hands stuffing my mouth. But after a while I became restless and again asked about my friend. I asked if he did not return from school yet. That was the final blow. The mother burst in to animal like cry and her other family members hugged her and tried consoling her. I was deeply scared. I felt like trapped as I wanted to run away but my body was not cooperating. After a while I slowly told them in shivering voice that I wish to go home. Then the elder sister told me that my friend died in an accident. I really did not know what to say. I just said I will go home. And I ran back home.
When I reached home and told my uncle about my friend’s death they reprimanded me as to why I went there. I was too baffled. How do I know that my friend’s dead and… how could I stop my self running to his home to ask him to play with me??? I did not cry. All I felt is… I missed my friend. I was not sure if my friend would come back some other time but chose not to ask elders if he would come back so that I could play with him.
In my next trips to that place… I slowly started forgetting about my friend. I loved him a lot because he gave me his life time collection of match box labels. I kept them till I reached my preteens and suddenly I felt foolish possessing them. I just gave them to my brother who promptly scattered them in oblivion.
As I started growing and saw death around I noticed that I was more incline in watching people who wailed over the dead. The surge of pain so obvious and so uncontrollable sometimes used to scare me more than death itself. The impulsive feeling of inferiority and aloofness in victim’s immediate kin and the kindness and empathy displayed by other around made me surmise so many things.
Now I see not any form of death within my heart. And I deeply loath the concept of suicide. I believe life that has arrived in its own way must also go in its own way. I think not of death in any form… be it accidental, prolonged or objective oriented.
I how ever wish not to become a burden on anyone when I reach the threshold of death throes. I wish I could have such privacy to see nature around me in its placid emotions rather than people with sympathy and anguish in their faces. I wish I know not about my own death I sleep in peace and enter another world as I notice not.
I hope I shall be blessed with that kind of farewell…
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