Sufi Music

I do not know anything about Sufism.

I do not know why they chose that kind of life in which they transcendent everything around and close their eyes and rock to the simple rhythms that fall like energetic shower from a rain that came from nowhere in midsummer noon.

I don’t even know what they are singing.

I learnt a little that they are ascetics dedicate their life to Allah through their vocal magic. I know that they believe in reaching salvation though their music. I have been listening to Sufi music since long and I never realized that it’s a unique dimension within music that culminates tranquility and melody. I just felt with my heart that the more I listened to it, I wanted to listen to it more.

I sometimes listened to Sufi music when I felt emptiness in my heart. It was always a pure coincidence. Or I am not sure if I listen to Sufi music I would realize emptiness in my heart. I just close my eyes and realize that… the music simple…and the voice so harsh… make my eyes shower please and pain side by side. I sense my soul moistened with tears.

I do not think of God when I listen to these magnificent moments. I know that they are praising God. But I suddenly feel implode within where in I feel I am going back to my childhood, infancy, embryonic stage and then perhaps… disappear. This is reverse to the process of I get aged and die.

I don’t even think of the love I lost over which I cry most miserably. That was the only reason in this material world over which I weep bitterly whenever I think of. I still am struggling to realize the truth… I think I am realizing. That I look at my hands and feel that it’s a mare assembly of bone, flesh, skin… an artistically layered creation. I wonder if my soul is imprisoned within my body and always trying to wiggle out of its captivity. I feel my spirit is looking out of my eyes… the only two windows of the prison in which my soul imprisoned the day I was born… to seek liberation.

I forgot that I was imprisoned when I fallen in love with her. The day she faded in to oblivion I could not believe that… I am still imprisoned within me. Moment like these make one seek refuge in theistic beliefs… an opaque layer that drapes your conscious mind make you believe whatever we sense is a myth.

I am not in to that. I am an obstinate entity when it comes to seeking refuge in something that exploits my weakness.

I learned that my tears moisten the soil of my heart and make my happiness and hopes go green again. I will not love anyone with the intensity I loved her. But I will live like a flower in wilderness that was born, bloomed and died in the winds, sun, cold, rain and sleet. I learnt that I must sing and relish singing that has soulful melodies and caress my wounded heart the same way breezes caress a flower stem that’s gently weaving in bliss.

 realized that when I listen to some songs or music my brittle exterior release molten lava inside my heart. I realized that the flowing lava again gets cooled and solidify the shower of tears. I realize that the residue of the volcanic ash is a fertile ground for the life to generate.

I do not know if my broken heart blooms flowers that are pretty or mushrooms that are nasty. But I know that I shall survive to see another day… after today and tomorrow…

I realized that… it’s not just a maniac sounding heavy metal I like…

I realized that I like serene sounds of Sufi music too…